comparison trap

The other day a read a post at Study in Brown (here)

Among other things, she wrote of the danger of:

"creating an alternate reality where everything is only lovely, where the camera blurs out the dirty floors or neglected duties or hurting child so that another woman miles away looks around her house and feels inadequate."

I read a number of blogs or women that I (though I've never met) admire a lot. None of these authors intend to present a picture of a perfect life, or to cause their faraway readers to get caught in the trap of comparison and inadequacy. But it is a risk. And I, as a reader, take full responsibility for my response to reading their blogs.

Today I was viewing photos of Sara's house (walkslowlylivewildly) and even before I clicked on her flicker link I knew it was coming. I knew that as I viewed the photos inside me would start growing discontent...even jealously. Followed by excuses, why my house doesn't look like that. I tried to be inspired instead of discouraged. Spirit help me. And it is an awesome house - cozy and creative, lots of unique furnishing and decorations - take a look (as long as you won't end up feeling bad). I think just being aware of my common response is a good way to change it.

It's funny (well, you know, not actually funny) how what I read really influences what I think I should be doing and how I should be doing it. Reading Soulemama and seeing all her handknits I think -- I should learn to knit, not only could I provide my family with creative handmade goodness...but I'd be cooler too. As if I will be knitting any time soon - and even then only scarves I'm sure. How many scarves does a family need anyway? Or reading other blogs in the attachment parenting vein and ending up bemoaning the amount of plastic toys my kids have and how I should really be buying them handmade wooden toys that they polish with beeswax. Knitting and beeswax are fine, and they might be fine for my family...but not because I read it on a blog and felt I would be a better person if I did that too.

I appreciated on Tonia's post (the study in brown one I mentioned at the beginning) how she encouraged reader's to get their direction from God - who is so personal that his plans for each of us are specific. He knows me. His plan for me is not knitting (but maybe learning to sew). It seems that his plan for me right now is to grow in awareness of how to balance service and self-care. Learning when to rest and when to work. When to sit and play with kids and when to put a video in and do the dishes - or read a novel.

Well, I think I'm out of words on that right now. Hope that made sense. My mind is a little jumbled.

Have a blessed Sunday. It's snowing where we are. Kids are sick. Older ones are getting better and little one is getting worse. Photos from yesterday are up at here&there.

aimee